For the purpose of this conversation on emotional strength I want to talk about your feelings. Because when you pay attention to the way you feel you can guide yourself towards your goals. Actually as my mentor instills in me every week your feelings are what is the most important part of materializing your desires.
Your thoughts are what send the signal out in the universe but it’s your feelings that act like the magnet to bring them into your experience. In the same sense your feelings are what keep you at distance between where you are and where you want to be.
This is sometimes a difficult part to grasp for many athletes because they have been told to visualize their results all their life. While visualization does play a role, visualization alone is not that powerful!
It’s the focusing of your end goal combined with the emotional response inside your body that brings that goal into your life.
Tolerating Emotional Experiences
This is an extremely powerful concept to understand. It has completely changed what I have been able to materialize in my own life but also with what teams and kids are doing I mentor. Understanding Feelings and emotions allows me to notice if athletes are setting goals that they really want for if they are just saying the standard bullshit goals.
It seems very cliche but if an athlete is talking about what they want in life and it does not send an emotional charge through their bodies. A noticeable difference in their physiology then they are probably not 100% clear on what it is they truly want.
And that’s ok! Honestly, most people across the world don’t have a ton of clarity in their lives.
The interesting and exciting thing about this is you can control these emotions and feelings. Yet most people live their entire lives addicted to things like stress, worry, anxiety and depression without knowing they can help themselves.
They become addicted to these emotions and describe them as part of their personality. I usually then ask those same people is it possible that you’ve become addicted to life that you don’t want?
Creating A Vision
To begin building some of those emotional strengths you must start by creating a vision beyond your current circumstances! Imagine your best self and start acting like them today.
Without clarity of the person or vision then it becomes difficult to wake up with pure enthusiasm!
One exercise I have the athletes do is begin by answering these 3 questions below:
- Describe how you’ve thought about yourself the past month?
- Is that really who you want to be and how you want to feel about yourself?
- Write 3 Power words or phrases about your true self!
Power words and phrases become powerful because if you’ve done it correctly and you can say it outloud it should send that emotional charge through your body!
At the end of the day your emotions right now are the results of your past experiences or core beliefs in life…
So the question becomes what is it that you want to feel in each situation?
From an emotional strength perspective that’s what separates high achievers from the average ones is that regardless of what might surface in any event they KNOW what they want to feel when they leave the situation, competition or event!
Create Emotional Strength
Recognizing your end result emotions and feelings is the superpower. It doesn’t matter if you’re an athlete going to practice or competition. A salesman making a phone call. A coach about to hold a team meeting. A parent talking to their child…
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT TO FEEL WHEN YOU LEAVE THE CONVERSATION OR EVENT?
Yes, it might take some deliberate practice but when you gain back control of your emotions you take back control of your life!
Lastly, I will leave you with one more tool I use with our teams to help them become more aware of their emotional strength…
Questions for Each Day to build Emotional Strength:
- Morning → What do I want to feel today?
- Describe what’s meaningful in your life right now. (Drive Enthusiasm)
- What can you be excited about today?
- Three things you can be proud of for yourself.
Hope you found some value in this and can utilize it for yourself and/or your team. When you understand your emotions you understand so much about your life. This is where most of the conversations begin with both coaches and athletes when they call me for mentorship.
At the end of the day everyone wants to feel better in some form or fashion. It can reduce stress as a student or athlete. It can reduce stress for coaches between personal and professional life.