What’s the cost of your child’s happiness? How about the amount of confidence they walk around with? Does the ability to know they are a valuable person matter? What if they are walking around overwhelmed and feeling burnt out with life? These are just a few of the responses I get when I send out questionnaires to kids…
I know as parents and coaches in your hearts you do not want any of your kids to feel this way! Yet many of our actions do not align with setting them up for success, joy, confidence and happiness.
Put very bluntly, most people make part time investments seeking long term growth!
The same goes for many people within their sports training decisions. They invest 3-5 months of training and then disappear for the remainder of the year wondering why their performance starts to slip.
If you take away anything from this article it’s that your child’s physical and mental growth is a full time investment. Now everyone is seeking different outcomes and levels of growth but I see many people get frustrated when the reality is they are just a dabbler.
Many people are forgetting to understand that if you don’t use it you lose it. That goes for your physical body as well as your inner being.
We all understand at some level the importance of exercise or moving daily. The concept that movement is medicine for both your physical and mental state of being. Now imagine if you put the right role model in proximity to your child while physically training?
The greatest push back that I get is that they already are around quality coaches or a gym who are their mentors. And I firmly stand by the statement that:
Not every coach is a mentor!
This does not mean that they are bad people or not trying to help your son or daughter. But the reality is that they don’t know what they don’t know.
For instance do they know that in a room filled with teenagers that:
- 8% of them have attempted suicide in the last 12 months
- Nearly 14% have made a plan about how they would attempt suicide
That is according to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention. That means these middle school and high school coaches KNOW that during their day coaching 100 kids 8 of them have attempted to take their life? No!
This is not guesswork! This is research we have done to make sure we know the statistics and through conversations we can find those individuals in a room through built connections and trust.
It’s time for the “we know kids are going through it” to stop. It’s not enough. We can blame kids. Blame parents, teachers, social media, whoever we want to point the finger to but I’d rather fix the cause.
Growth over Excellence
You see nearly every coach or gym their focus is on the concept of excellence. How do we help these kids perform better. Again not their fault because if they are a coach at a gym that’s what they are probably paid to do. If they are a coach at a school the reality is these days you are paid to win games.
Yet we need people to step in and focus on their growth. Not give them the answers to life or decide what type of lifestyle they want. But get them thinking more. Allow them to use their imagination to get creative about the experience they want to have in life.
For instance now that I am consulting with teams across the country a few of the first questions I ask them are…
- Tell me all about you? 99% it’s name, age, sport and maybe how last season went.
- What makes you unique, what are your superpowers that allow you to stand out? Most common initial response is how many do you need.
- What are the 3 most important values you look for in a friend or relationship.
These are not secret questions. Yet very few can give thoughtful answers, but I also tell them I don’t expect in depth responses. I know they haven’t thought about these things and my goal is to get the wheels spinning. Start thinking about what’s important in your life and what allows you to stand out right now!
Part-time versus Full-time
Designing and growing towards the life and experiences you want is not a part time thing. Actually that’s why most people across the globe feel empty, sad or unfulfilled because they are just going through life on autopilot.
You don’t have to wait until you hit rock bottom to start making changes in your life. Actually it works better when you do the exact opposite. You have a greater imagination and are more creative when you are feeling good about yourself.
Again I see it all the time in the gym. People come, get what they want and are convinced they need nothing else. Most within months are picking up the phone reaching back out almost desperate to get back in the gym to just get back to where they were before.
I know all the parents reading this are screaming, “we just don’t have time”. I know it’s difficult to come 3x per week in the gym throughout the year. Hell, even 2x per week might even be hard in certain months…
But you know I am a blunt person: If you don’t have an hour a week then you don’t have a life. That’s less than 1% of your entire week. If you don’t have 4 hours a month then you are living in reactive mode.
Some will call it a sales pitch and you can call it what you want but the reality is kids are starving for meaningful connections. That is the top priority here is to build those relationships so kids are finding who they are. Finding deeper love for themselves.
Stop blaming social media and digital addiction. Kids that are addicted to these things are indirectly saying I lack connection. They feel connected while scrolling IG and Facebook.
So I ask once more. Is your child’s happiness, confidence, joy for life and love for themselves a part time investment?
It does not mean I am the only solution but I have yet to come across in a decade a facility and framework developing kids physically and emotionally at the same time! I have yet to come across anyone invested like me with real dollars.
Even the research company I hired, who is GLOBALLY KNOWN, says I am the only one in this specific industry they have worked with.
I am sure there are plenty of more knowledgeable strength and conditioning coaches out there that know more than me but they can’t mentor and guide them towards designing the life they want better than our system based on proven results!