Ryan Romano Underground Performance

Parents Raising Young Athletes: Reducing Stress

Parents with young athletes or kids in general are facing more stress and worry than ever before. Do you as a parent get the amount of sleep you desire? Maybe there are things keeping you awake a night. Thoughts flooding your mind if you are going the right thing for your kids or are you being enough as a parent.

You see over the last decade while the gym is the platform it’s helping parents and families reduce the amount of stress within their lives. As adults we tend to want to act tough especially around our kids.

The reality is that there are so many thoughts that you lay in bed and think about as a parent. Some of them you might be conscious of but many of them live within your subconscious eating away at your ability to truly live!

Many of these thoughts or questions include are you kids getting the life they deserve? Have I failed or failing as a parent? Are my kids passing school and will they be prepared for life?

Can I afford college for them? Do my kids hang out with the right crowd of peers? Why have they been so silent lately, are they getting peer pressured or bullied at school…

At first glance you might think “That’s Not Me”!

I will shoot it to you very blunt. The majority of parents live under the assumption “Not My Child.” Because if they stop and admit that maybe their kids are going through a struggle it reflects on them as parents. But it’s really the exact opposite!

Parents Looking Away

More parents are looking away from what’s going on in their kids lives because of fear. If we get to the root of the problem it’s the fear of parents failing their children. It’s ok parents! You do not have to act tough all the time!

But turning away from what’s happening in your child’s life is having devastating effects!

From increases in bullying, drug use, depression and suicide it’s time to have more honest conversations.

The first conversation begins with the one between you and yourself. What is the type of child you want to raise? Have you genuinely stopped to consider what that looks like? For most parents answers are very surface level like being respectful, getting good grades, trying their best, striving for excellence or a good son/daughter, parent, husband/wife etc…

While these are good answers. Do you really know what they mean? For instance can you write out in detail what those things look like?

What Transformation Do You Want For Your Child

In the beginning I thought I was here to serve athletes. Young adults who were striving to achieve a certain level of performance on and off the field.

Better questions lead to better answers and…

I began asking myself how can I TRANSFORM young athletes’ lives?

What would that look like? First I began diving into my own life and story because the reality is that things I struggled with as a middle school, high school and college athlete these kids were probably experiencing similar struggles.

We will save that process for another day and blog but it was extremely eye opening because I had to be honest with myself. I had to admit how much confidence I lacked. Took the time to look in the mirror and realize I was waking up and devaluing myself. Saw my life as unworthy. Depressed. Confused. And at one point really thought life was not worth living for.

I had to transform my own life! 

Then I spent the next 5 years digging, researching and analyzing to see if I was the only one that had these thoughts…

As I began to research, mentor and talk with other kids it was staggering how many of them were struggling with the same things. If you’re one of those skeptics. Recent studies show:

  • 17% of high school students seriously considered suicide and 14% made a plan.
  • Suicide is 2nd leading cause of death in Texas ages 10-34
  • 14% of first time drug users are 11 years old or younger

I can hammer off literally hundreds of pages of data and statistics but I do not think that will do any good. What will begin the transformation is if we can be honest with ourselves as parents and what’s happening in our kids lives.

Parents Seeking Guided Achievement For Kids

Once I discovered all this I realized that I had another duty to mentor and work with parents as well. It’s the subtle things that parents say to their kids that subconsciously do the most harm. Not because they intended to hurt their feelings but because they have a lot going on in their own lives!

Parents are stressed out not only worrying about raising their kids but other external factors like work and relationships. I began to understand that I could serve at an even greater purpose! I could offer even more value.

One of kids greatest fears is living up to mom and dad’s expectations! You hear so often from people “I wanted just to make my parents proud”

As parents you love your kids deep within your heart and want what’s best for them. That’s why their transformation from youth to young adult or athlete to human being is so critical.

Another huge reason why one of the major pieces in our 3 step Guided Achievement System is the piece of mentorship. Having the right role model in their life to be there for them. Someone they can genuinely trust and talk with.

Also on the flip side someone you as parents can trust. You can trust that individual or mentor to point them in the right direction that aligns with purpose and values. A mentor that you as a parent also do not mind them being honest and forthcoming with you. Sometimes that can be tough but we all want to continue to grow and progress.

The same reason I have my own mentor and accountability partners. I need my own kick in the ass from time to time. Because if I’m not growing, learning and progressing then it makes it difficult to continue to serve you at the highest level possible.

Live and Love

So parents, I ask you what transformation do you REALLY want to give your child? Is it just about performance or is there more to it?

Do you want to continue to lay in bed awake at night worrying about your child?

Do you desire to put your child around a strong mentor and role model throughout the week? A person they can trust and not have to bottle up so many feelings and emotions that’s causing them to feel anxiety or depression?

Maybe the ability to build and grow their confidence to wake up in the morning and look at themselves in the mirror and love themselves more and more each day!

What if your child became more accountable for their own lives. They started taking out the trach, doing the dishes or cleaning their rooms without having to be asked. Would that reduce some stress for you about when they venture off to college on their own?

Their belief system in their own abilities grew 10x! You kids started raising their hands in class because they did not understand an assignment. Maybe their grades would begin to increase!

Levels of self-love and self-esteem started to explode and they did not try to “fit-in” so much with their peers. They hung around groups of people that aligned with their purpose and values. Ambition and goal setting would skyrocket.

These are the types of transformations we love seeing in our kids! These are the desires your kids are genuinely craving. High levels of performance sounds great on the surface level but our kids are craving more meaningful connections.

And you get to lay in bed at night and not have to stress or worry about your children!

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